


Way down we go

by yasminkhxns



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doctor!Whump, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, everything isn't quite as it seems I PROMISE, oooooh this is so much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasminkhxns/pseuds/yasminkhxns
Summary: Her smile was kind, far too kind for the situation they found themselves in.
Relationships: The Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor & Graham O'Brien, Thirteenth Doctor & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 54
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this came into my head today, and i couldn't get rid of it and had to write it down. i have a vague idea of where the second chapter is gonna go so you shouldn't have to wait too long (and boy are you probs gonna want me to finish it pretty quick LMAO)
> 
> so, about this:
> 
> 1\. i'm sorry
> 
> 2\. i'm not really
> 
> enjoy! : )

Her smile was kind, far too kind for the situation they found themselves in. 

They were in a field, the dry grass knee high as the sun beat down on them all. Sweat glistened on everyone’s skin, dirt mixed with it, and Yaz couldn’t imagine how hot it was underneath the masks of the alien’s that restrained them all. Too cowardly to show their faces. She tried to fight them off, Graham and Ryan too, but it was no use. They were all just a touch too weak from being held captive, a lack of food and water taking its toll. Yaz’s throat had been so dry that she was surprised she even had enough fluids left in her system to cry, tears currently spilling freely down her cheeks. And though her throat was dry, it didn’t quiet the screams that ripped from her throat.

Ryan and Graham’s cries were just as loud when the Doctor was shoved forward from where she weakly stood, knees trembling as she stumbled to a wobbly stance in front of their captors leader. His face was covered with a mask like the rest of them, a gold stripe down the middle signifying his status. Though Yaz thought the same as him as she did his followers, their masks made them all cowards to the act they were about to commit.

Yaz could barely remember how they got in this situation, her mind so focused on her best friend in front of her, battered and bruised, coatless and barefoot. The Doctor’s lip was dry with orange-red blood, eye slightly swollen and painted purple, a deep cut slicing through her eyebrow. All the Doctor’s injuries were visible from where she stood side on to her companions, who were a good distance away. Yaz knew she could she could hear their pleas, she wasn’t  _ that  _ far, yet she’d chosen to ignore them in their prison cell, and she was choosing to ignore them now. They’d begged and begged her not to do this, not to  _ sacrifice  _ herself like this. 

Their captors were going to let them go after all this was over, but Yaz didn’t want to go anywhere without the Doctor. 

In front of her, Yaz could see the Doctor’s lips move as she spoke quietly to the leader, the masked alien responding with a nod. He turned to face them all and made a gesture with his hand to take them away. 

She didn’t want them to see.

Somewhere in her peripheral, Yaz could hear the boys being dragged away, could hear their protests, their feet digging into the dirt, and Yaz knew unconsciously she was doing the same. 

“Doctor!” she cried as they tugged at her arms, tears streaming down her face, “Doctor don’t do this,  _ please!”  _ she screamed, her efforts pausing briefly when the Doctor’s head finally turned, her gaze locking with Yaz’s, a gaze that shone with unshed tears, her smile far too kind, a too late apology hidden behind it. 

She murmured something, her cut lip making it heard to speak, and though she wasn’t in close proximity, Yaz could hear her as clear as day.

“It’s ok, Yaz.” she smiled, her eyes creasing a little too much, the strain letting a tear slip free from hazel-green.

And seeing the Doctor cry? That’s how Yaz knew this was it. So she lurched forward with all the strength that remained in her body, desperate to get to her friend who now let another tear fall at the sight of Yaz’s efforts. 

The Doctor’s head turned back to the leader, gaze now peering down down the barrel of a gun as her eyes closed in acceptance. She seemed at peace _—_ and it was absolutely terrifying. 

“NO!” Yaz screamed one final time, so desperately that the cry scratched at her throat like razors, until a particularly rough tug forced her to look away, eyes now on Graham and Ryan and they were dragged, defeated, through the overgrown grass.

As soon as her gaze was torn away from the Doctor, that’s when Yaz heard it. The gunshot. The bang that reverberated aggressively through her skull and ripped her heart in two as she sobbed, knees buckling. 

Her anguish gave her one last push, a remaining kick to fight back just enough to get a brief glance over the alien’s shoulder. Though Yaz wished she didn’t. The leader’s mask was splattered with flecks of blood, the barrel of the gun the same. Even the surrounding grass was spoiled with red liquid, a dip in the overgrowth showing where the Doctor’s body lay, unmoving, partly visible through the strands of grass, red pooling sickeningly around her, staining navy blue so viscerally, that all Yaz could do was uncontrollably weep at the sight. It was nauseating, and even though Yaz had nothing in her stomach to throw up, she still wretched, legs giving out completely as her knees hit dirt, dust flying up and catching in her throat, forcing her cough to the point where she could barely breathe. 

The alien’s however, were uncaring, simply shifting their hold until hands were under her arms, dragging her unceremoniously away from her friend. Away to God knows where.

They said they would let them go after they killed the Doctor _—_ but who was Yaz to trust? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all really gonna have to stick with me ok because you're probs gonna be furious at the end of this chapter lol x
> 
> (if you really wanna cause yourself pain while reading this then i recommend listening to the stripped version of Way Down We Go by KALEO) 
> 
> ALSO i spent a while on the time lord wiki before writing this so everything she does in this is true!

The twitch of a finger against the ground. The tiny movement disturbing the smallest amount of dust that wisped around pale fingers, dissipating into the rays of sun beating down on the still form. 

Eyelids slowly eased open just enough to reveal hazel-green orbs that were covered in a light sheen of unshed tears, though they weren’t from upset, they were from agony. A groan finally slipped from pink lips as eyes opened fully. Weak hands tried to grab for anything, only finding dirt slipping through their fingers as the Doctor managed to barely maneuver herself onto her back, face no longer pressed into the ground, her cheeks flecked with evidence of her previous position _—_ dirt and blood sticking to her face. 

She gasped at the movement, already too much of a strain on her wounded body, blood oozing freely from her chest where a clear whole pierced through her shirts and into her flesh. She could practically feel the bullet lodged in her heart, the organ’s beating having already ceased as she coughed, the tensing of her chest that came with the action almost unbearable. Blood spattered from her mouth, dripping down and off her chin as she groaned in agony, the noise gargling slightly with the blood still caught in her throat as tears she could no longer hold back slipped from her eyes.

“Bad,” she croaked, “This is really bad.” 

The Doctor’s consciousness wavered for a moment as she briefly thought back to mere minutes prior.

  
  


_ “It’s ok, Yaz.” the Doctor uttered, and by Yaz’s reaction, she knew the younger woman had heard what she said, a tear sliding down the Time Lord’s cheek. It wasn’t often she cried, but seeing her friends get dragged away she stood ready and waiting for death — the Doctor couldn’t stop her emotions getting the better of her. _

_ If she was honest, this wasn’t how she’d expected to go. But her life in exchange for her friends in an impossible situation? It wasn’t a question of who lived and who died. Though she had to admit, the thought of the Matrix was a little terrifying, if it even still existed, but at least a death as quick as this left no time for a confession dial.  _

_ The Doctor turned her head away from her companions, eyes shutting as she faced the barrel of the gun, a horrifying sort of acceptance washing over her. A quiet relief. Maybe death wouldn’t be so bad. It would give her peace, a chance to finally rest after nearly 3000 years of life. She was far too old really.  _

_ Silly old universe… it could live without her — probably. _

_ Yet, as soon as the Doctor heard one final scream of “NO!” rip from Yaz’s throat, her eyes flickered open for just a second to see Yaz still fighting back, desperately tugging to get to her.  _

_ That’s when something inside the Doctor switched. Perhaps the Time Lord Matrix could wait a little longer. _

_ So the Doctor listened out, using her sensitive hearing to pick up the click of the trigger as it started to pull back — and that’s when she moved. It all happened in slow motion, though in reality it was a split second as the Doctor’s hand darted out to knock the gun, though the leaders hold was stiff, and she didn’t knock it hard enough, the gun only moving downwards as the trigger went off, the chamber erupting with a bang as a bullet shot out the barrel. The Doctor tried to move, nowhere near fast enough to evade the speed of a bullet as it cracked past her ribs, driving itself through her chest in straight into her heart, knocking her back instantly. Her eyes widened immeasurably as she saw crimson liquid splat across the leaders mask, her knees suddenly giving out at the excruciating pain exploding through her chest. She fell, straight onto her front, hitting the ground with a hard thud.  _

_ In the distance, the Doctor could just about make out the mournful weeps of Yasmin Khan, though her attention was shifted when a shadow loomed over her, and she knew she only had a second to save her own life. So even though the pain her chest was torturous, the Doctor forced herself to ignore it as best she could. She stopped her breathing, respiratory bypass system kicking in as she gained conscious control over her heart, using age old knowledge to put all her energy into slowing it to a near stop. She could barely think as she felt the leaders gaze bore into her, all her energy going into feigning death. She prayed to every God that existed when a hand lifted her wrist, two fingers pressing to her pulse point in search of a beat — finding nothing. He huffed, dropping her arm unceremoniously to the ground and walking away none the wiser. His footsteps faded into the distance as the Doctor’s working organs kicked back into action, and with her concentration no longer focused on something so life threatening, the throes of pain the Doctor was in hit her full force as she managed to somehow not cry out and draw attention to herself. Instead emitting a silent scream, her body in so much pain that it decided to pass out. _

__

As the Doctor came back to the present, _ just  _ managing to stay awake, she attempted to crawl forward in a desperate attempt to head toward her friends? The TARDIS? She wasn’t even sure herself, her mind far to scattered and foggy with pain. She practically sobbed with every scrape along the ground, the dirt below her sticky with her own blood as it clung to her, dirtying her already gaping wound. 

One more tug of her body as she dragged herself forward was too much. It was too exhausting, too painful, and the Doctor could barely catch her breath as it was, they were short and shallow as she sweat in the heat of the sun, the stress on her body too immense. 

The Doctor coughed again, blood splattering over the dirt and painting her lips red as she gave up on her quest to crawl forward. She felt far too hot under the intense rays of the sun. The heat of it coursed and burned through her body, and that’s when the Doctor realised _—_ it wasn’t the sun at all.

Eyes barely managing to stay open, the Doctor brought her hand to her eye-line, stomach plummeting when golden swirls glistened under her skin, flowing through her veins as an all too familiar burn started in her chest. “Oh _—_ oh no.” she mumbled, head dropping to the dirt as she used the last of her energy to roll onto her back, lifting the hand above her, twisting her wrist as she followed a golden wisp from her palm to the back of her hand, watching as it spun around her knuckles and back up her arm, concealed by a blood splattered coat sleeve. 

As the Doctor lay there, watching her inevitable change, there were only two words on her mind.

“I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY BUT REMEMBER THE TAG!!!! ---> (everything isn't quite as it seems I PROMISE)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a fun little short thing to write so i hope you enjoy this final chapter!!

The Doctor’s hand glowed brighter and brighter, her other hand doing the same when she managed to lift into her vision, her shallow breaths becoming even shorter with the oncoming panic of a regeneration she was less than expecting. 

She wouldn’t even get to say goodbye to her friends.

Yet, as she watched, she noticed something was wrong. The Doctor frowned in confusion as the energy under her skin began to flicker, going out like an overused lightbulb, dimming, until _—_ nothing. The glowing was gone, along with the scorching heat in her veins, and if she wasn’t already desperate to keep breathing, her breath would’ve caught in her throat at the realisation of what had happened. 

“Regenerative collapse.” she whispered to herself, dread engulfing her form as the pain that was briefly subsided by regeneration energy smacked back into her like she was being hit by a bus, crying out and clutching to her chest along with her life that she now knew was quickly slipping away. “Oh no.” she mumbled, a drop of blood spilling from her mouth in the panic, “No, no, no, no, no, no…” a hand shakily reached into her coat pocket, pulling out her sonic as her mind tried to run through fading options as fast she could, settling one _—_ and hoping it would work.

“Don’t let me down now.” the Doctor begged the universe, another tear slipping down her cheek, talking having become far too painful to continue. 

She pushed the button, eyelids no longer able to stay open, and did her usual _—_ point and think. 

The next time the Doctor heard anything, she wasn’t sure if it was real or the Matrix, not entirely conscious, sounds muffled like her head was underwater, body still too weak to make the effort of even attempting to fully wake. Yet some words managed to slip through in cracks of clarity. 

“You stupid …….. How ……… let …… happen?” 

The Doctor recognised the voice. It was feminine, deeper than her own as it continued to speak. “............ owe me after ………… is over.”

She felt a pressure on her chest, and she heard an agonised groan, assuming it was hers, quieting when she heard words of comfort. “..... sorry ………… be ok Doctor.” 

The voice sounded panicked, etched with so much worry that the Doctor wasn’t so sure about their  _ ‘be ok.’  _

Somehow, the Doctor managed to muster the strength to peer her eyes open just a touch _—_ but it was enough. Dark curls came into view along with olive skin, and though their face was a blur, their clothing was enough to give away exactly who it was. It was just so unmistakably pirate. 

“C– Corsair?”

“There ……. are. Stay with …… -ctor.” the Corsair spoke, her voice wavering slightly. She grunted as she lifted the Doctor from the ground, the limp Time Lord crying out in a near sob with the jostling movements, apologies echoing through her head from her friend. “Don’t you dare die on me.” the Doctor heard the Corsair whisper, the first full sentence she managed to capture since regaining some semblance of consciousness. 

There was the recognisable sound of thudding against the ground as the Doctor’s eyes slid shut again, the sound coming fast, the Corsair wasting no time in getting to her destination. “...... those eyes open Doc….” the Doctor heard somewhere off in the distance, unable to adhere to the Corsair’s request. 

“I–” the Doctor whimpered, voice barely there. “Can’t make it.” she muttered, another cough spluttering from her lips, blood staining her skin along with the Corsair’s cream blouse, breathing faltering as she struggled to stay alive. 

“Doctor?” It sounded quiet. “Doctor?” Quieter. “Doctor?!” the final shout of her name ended up being a little louder as the Doctor felt the ground beneath her, though she could’ve been floating at this point and not known any better. “Doctor, don’t you bloody dare die on me.” the Corsair’s sharp tone broke through the fog, the sentence clear in the Doctor’s head, though she wasn’t sure she could heed to what the Corsair was asking as she started to feel herself slipping away.

“Right… that’s it.” she heard the Corsair stammer, her voice muffled in the Doctor’s current state, “I don’t care …….. hate me ….. this.” 

There was a noise _—_ a sort of humming _—_ one the Doctor knew all too well as she felt an immense warmth pressed against her chest. Part of it was the heat of the Corsair’s palm, the other part was  _ so  _ reconogisable that it made the Doctor stir, an orange glow forcing her eyes to flicker open as she briefly glanced down to see regeneration energy twisting and swirling around the Corsair’s hand and seeping into her wound. 

“N– no… no… you can’t.” she whimpered, voice still weak as the Corsair shushed her, ignoring the hand that feebly tried to bat hers away. “It’s… waste…” the Doctor argued.

The Corsair laughed bitterly. “No amount of regeneration energy is a waste for someone like you, Doctor.” 

The Corsair pulled her hand away, the wound not entirely healed, still slowly weeping with orange-red blood, but it was no longer mortal enough for the Corsair to lose her friend –– for the universe to lose its protector. “Now, come on.” the Corsair urged, a little weaker herself as she lifted the Doctor back into her arms, making her way back to her own ship. 

It didn’t take them long to get the Corsair’s TARDIS after that, the pirate ship lodged into the ground in a way that looked so ridiculous and out of place that, in the Doctor’s delirious state, she couldn’t help but laugh. Even if it did send her into another coughing fit, crimson dripping from her lips. 

The Doctor’s vision swam as the Corsair lay her down on a cot in the med bay, hooking her up to machines and placing a mask over her face. “Now,” the Corsair started sternly. “There are two ways we can do this. You try and heal this through a coma, or I use more regeneration energy on you to heal it fully.”

The Doctor was already shaking her head at the second suggestion, lifting the mask from her mouth briefly to speak. “No,” she said, wheezing, “No more regeneration energy.” she was adamant, the Corsair sighing at her friend’s renowned stubborn streak. 

Rolling her eyes, the Corsair replied. “Fine.”

“Promise.” the Doctor whispered, eyes wide, desperate.

“Promise.” 

“No zero room?” the Doctor questioned, and the Corsair shook her head. 

“Mine’s an older model than yours.”

“Coma it is.” the Doctor sighed, eyes fluttering as she struggled to stay awake, though she wasn’t sure her consciousness was slipping from the reason she thought. The Doctor looked up, meeting guilty eyes as the Corsair struggled to hold her gaze. “Corsair?” the Doctor slurred, “What’ve you done?”

“I’m sorry, Doctor. I lied, but it’s like I said before,” the Corsair lifted her hands from where they rested on the side of the Doctor’s bed, fingertips glowing as gold wisps soon covered the rest of her hands.

“No–”

“I don’t care if you hate me for this.” 

“No…” the Doctor tried to push the Corsair away, to no avail, too weak from her injuries and the drugs she’d breathed into her her system, glowing palms soon a strong pressure against her chest as her organs slowly knitted themselves back together from the inside out, pushing the trapped bullet up and up until it slid out the gap in her chest and clattered to the floor. The Corsair groaned above her, exhaustion kicking in from such an intense process, but her hands stayed regimented, no matter how much the Doctor protested.

Finally, the last flecks of skin moulded back together, and the glowing of the Corsair’s hands evaporated as she stumbled back, falling to the ground, burned out from what she’d just done. 

The Doctor feebly tugged the mask from her face, taking a deep breath as she felt the first beat of her now repaired heart. Her head fell to the side, gaze locked onto the Corsair’s as she scowled. “What did you do…” 

The Corsair chuckled breathily. “I saved you. A thank you would be nice.”

The Doctor’s frown only deepened. “Why would you do that?! You just–”

“Probably used up a whole regeneration doing that for you. Yes, I know. But you know what, Doctor?” the Corsair said, stumbling to her feet, “I don’t care. The universe needs you  _ far  _ more than it needs another one of me. I can see your timeline you know. I can see how old you are. An extra set of regenerations? Lucky you. Must’ve done something really special to get those.” 

The Doctor huffed. “Don’t be a smart arse.” There was a long pause. “You shouldn’t have done that.” 

“Well, tough. A coma wasn’t going to fix it.”

“It might’ve.” the Doctor snapped back.

“ _ No. _ It wouldn’t have. Stop being so selfless Doctor.”

The Doctor was silent as the Corsair walked back to her bedside with a damp cloth, wiping the blood from the Doctor chin in the tense silence, until the Doctor sighed, eyes catching the Corsair’s. “Thank you.” she whispered, the smallest of smiles gracing her lips as the Corsair’s beamed back smugly. 

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

The deep blue doors of the TARDIS creaked open as the Doctor and the Corsair took a step inside, a careful arm around the Doctor’s waist as she stumbled up to the console. “Doctor, I really don’t think you should be fly–”

“I’ve got to get my friends back.” she said determinedly, her gaze steely as pulled down a lever, setting the ship groaning and wheezing happily at the sight of its thief. 

The Doctor reluctantly allowed the Corsair to help her fly the ship as she juddered to a halt, the doors flying open not one second after it landed, all three of the Doctor’s companions bursting through, a multitude of emotions playing across all three faces. 

“Doctor?!” Yaz was the first to speak, eyes shining with tears that quickly fell, the Doctor smiling back at her nervously, hoping that her friends wouldn’t be  _ too  _ mad at her for letting them think she was dead. 

Yaz surged forward, about to clamp the Doctor in a bone-crushing hug when the Corsair called out. “Woah! Maybe be a bit more gentle? She’s a little fragile.” 

The Doctor scowled at her friend. “I am not frag–” she was cut off by the feel of fingertips against overly sensitive, freshly healed skin, looking down to see the pads of dark fingers grazing over the hole in her shirt.

“Doctor…” Yaz uttered, her voice trembling as the Doctor spotted more tears falling freely down her friends cheeks. “Doctor did you–”

“Get shot in the chest? Yeah a little bit.” 

Immediately, arms gently wrapped around her waist as Yaz uncontrollably cried into her neck, the warmth of two other humans soon joining her, their teary eyes also unable to hold back at the sight of their friend.

“We thought you were dead, Doc.” Graham muttered into the most careful of group hugs. 

“I know. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better _—_ I thought I was dead too.”

“It doesn’t.” Ryan chided, wanting to squeeze tighter but knowing it wasn’t the best idea. 

When they finally let go, the Doctor leaned back against the console, still feeling weak as she sent a gentle smile the Corsair’s way. “Though really, you should be thanking her. If it wasn’t for the Corsair I really would be dead.” 

“ _ Oh,  _ well it was noth–”

“Thank you.” Yaz interrupted immediately. The boys also joined in with thanks of their own as the humans gave her a group hug that the Corsair relented, though accepted nonetheless, scowling at the Doctor when she laughed. 

It wasn’t long however, before Yaz was once again glued to the Doctor’s side, the boys standing considerably closer than normal as they bid their goodbyes to the Corsair. 

“I owe you one.” the Doctor stated, grasping at the Corsair’s forearm, an tanned hand resting over her own. 

“Not at all. If anything, I owed you.”

The Doctor frowned, confused at the Corsair’s statement. “What do you mean?” 

“Oh _—_ you’ll see.” she winked slipping through the doors of the Doctor’s ship and back to her own. 

“She owes you?” Ryan asked, baffled by the Doctor’s friend.

“Trust me, even I don’t know _—_ but I have a feeling I will soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!! (though i feel like y'all are gonna use those comments to scream at me xx)


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